Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Nursing Pentathlon

The Olympic Committee is introducing a new event: the Nursing Pentathlon.  Five exciting tests will evaluate the fitness and readiness of nurses!  The nurse with the highest total score will win the gold!

The Nursing Pentathlon is traditionally completed with no breaks for food, drinks or toileting.  Here are the five events:


CT RACE

The nurse and respiratory therapist take an intubated patient on four drips down and through the CT scanner and back.  The first team to get the patient back to their room and reattached to all the monitors wins*!  



*patient must survive transport

FOLEY SHOT
The nurse must place a foley on an obese female--alone--while a judge watches and evaluates the sterile technique.





CHEST COMPRESSIONS

The nurse must do continuous chest compressions at a goal rate of 100 beats a minute for one hour while the physician explains repeatedly what the chances are for recovery to the family.





IV IQ

This test evaluates the nurse's ability to think critically.  You have a patient with a single lumen PICC* and a 22 gauge peripheral line.  How do you arrange the following drips to ensure compatibility and safety?




*anyone who puts in a single lumen PICC should be shot



CHARTING CHALLENGE

The final event in the Nursing Pentathlon is the Charting Challenge!!  Everything done up to this point must be charted on accurately.  No eating, drinking or bathroom breaks allowed!




Go for the gold!

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Fairy Lane

I had he opportunity to drive around downtown Seattle recently.  The traffic was monstrous--one-way roads, trolleys, bus lanes, bike lanes, pedestrian lanes and lanes with the words, "FERRY ONLY" painted on them.  After being stuck in a "FERRY ONLY" lane for an hour, I started thinking, "Don't the goblins, nymphs and ogres get irritated that only fairies get their own lane here in Seattle?"



Friday, September 13, 2013

DIV ORCE





A nurse told me once, "I'd rather come from a broken home than live in one."  That's the best argument I've ever heard for divorce.






Divorce is unpopular.  Little girls dream of their wedding day.  Wedding Barbie is a runaway hit...





But Divorce Barbie doesn't sell well at all...





No one plans their divorce day.  But no one plans on getting open heart surgery, either.

Think about other major relationships in your life.  Friendships, for example.  Most of us have had friends--really close friends--who we are no longer friends with.  Why?




People change.  They grow apart.  Do they need to STAY friends out of some sense of tradition?  Are they bad people if they don't?  Is the whole friendship now a FAILURE because it ended?




What about jobs?  How many people stay at their first job?  Our first job is usually has two critical qualities:

1. it's close
2.  it's willing to hire us




Do we need to stay at that job out of some sense of loyalty?





The same is true with marriage.  We marry some person who pays attention to us.  Since we've never been married before we have no idea what to look for.  Most of us marry when we are young.  Our hormones are raging our judgment is nonexistent.

But time passes and we grow.  And change.  We become more aware of what makes us happy and what doesn't.  

I'd rather come from a broken home than live in one.