!!ALIEN INVASION!!

Recently, a patient watching a "science" channel told me we should all be preparing for an alien invasion.  

I asked him why.  He told me that there are billions of stars out there with life on them. 

I'm not sure about stars--they're awfully hot--but there's almost certainly life on other planets.  I've seen Carl Sagan do the math.  But that doesn't answer the question of why aliens would WANT to come to Earth.  The universe is so vast---what could an alien species want from Earth that they couldn't get closer and easier?  There are moons with seas of methane gas, asteroids made entirely out of diamond, and ice balls in the Oort cloud with enough water to fill a hundred thousand oceans.  Why come to Earth?

The patient said, "Maybe to make slaves of us."  

I thought that was pretty anthropomorphic, since humans have kept slaves everywhere they've ever existed (one out of every three people in the Roman Empire was a slave).  But any civilization advanced enough for space travel would find it easier and cheaper to make nano-robots than to come all the way here and make slaves out of us.  How would they feed us?  How would they "breathe" us?

He said, "Maybe to take our women."

Well, I guess that might be true.  Maybe the aliens are after our women.

 I guess we need to be careful.

Nurse's Note:  There are millions of animal species on the planet.  That's not including the plant, fungi, monera and protist kingdoms.  It's pretty arrogant to assume that an alien visitor would come all the way here just to steal a human female.

I Believe in the FDA

A fellow nurse told me recently that she only eats organic food.  This confused me--I thought ALL food was organic.  Doesn't "organic" mean that it was once alive?  Other than salt, I think that everything that humans CAN eat is organic. 

She also said that she doesn't eat genetically modified foods.  But--I thought that nearly everything Americans consume has been genetically modified.  See if you recognize any of these foods:

Granny Smith Apple

Idaho Potato

Holstein Cow

The reason that they are recognizable is because they have been genetically modified. 

 How about these non-food animals:

Dachshund Dog

Clydesdale Horse

Apples, potatoes, cows, dogs and horses should be as widely diverse as humans are and not recognizable as a "breed".  But genetic manipulation has selected for a few characteristics.  That can be good because it can keep the desirable traits.  But it also can be bad, because it can keep the undesirable traits, too.  This is genetic modification.

The same thing could be done with humans.  If we heavily line bred humans, they would be as easily recognizable as the dog breeds.

Here are a few of my proposed human breeds and some of their typical characteristics:

The Ernie:  Intelligent, creative, temperamental, can be difficult to house train, requires lots of attention and daily walks, late bloomer, needs a dominant owner, howls at the moon if lonely.

The Monque:  Quiet, can be highly strung at times, bonds tightly to one person, great voice, does best with steady routines, discipline with rolled-up newspaper if needed.

The Finny:  Friendly, outgoing, very social, great family pet, loves the outdoors, retrieves and fetches, will sniffs crotches and hump legs if bored.

The Peterie:  High energy, must be kept busy, not good with small children, easily distracted, will chew the furniture and pee on the carpet if frustrated, not recommended for police work.

Nurse's Note: the fashionable trend of eating "organic" food may be making some businesses rich, but it consumes more  time, energy and water and is not realistic to feed 7 billion people.