Meteorologist Frosty
Astronaut Frosty
Ice Cream Frosty
Designer Frosty
Park Ranger Frosty
Marine Biologist Frosty
Custodian Frosty
Private Detective Frosty
Friday, December 25, 2015
The Frosty Life
In past years, around Christmas, I've explored what it might have been like if Santa Claus or his wife had taken a different career path. This year seems colder than usual, so I'm going to discuss Frosty the Snowman. Enjoy!
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
A Great British Philosopher
A great philosopher can explain a complex issue with a short phrase. I like that, because I can mull over the words later when I'm mowing or cutting horses' feet.
One of my favorite sayings is by a great British philosopher, umm..let me think, which one was it?
John Locke?
Thomas
Hobbes?
Mary
Wollstonecraft?
Bertrand Russell?
No, no, not them. Oh, now I remember!
It was the great British
philosopher MICK JAGGER who said, "You can't always get
what you want."
Truer words have never been spoken! What a great intellectual mind!
One of my favorite sayings is by a great British philosopher, umm..let me think, which one was it?
John Locke?
Thomas
Hobbes?
Mary
Wollstonecraft?
Bertrand Russell?
No, no, not them. Oh, now I remember!
It was the great British
philosopher MICK JAGGER who said, "You can't always get
what you want."
Truer words have never been spoken! What a great intellectual mind!
Sunday, May 31, 2015
ICU Casanova
One of my coworkers has an amazing draw on women. Patients and family members attempt to get his phone number and "friend" him on Facebook. Even family members of patients he has never taken care of!
It's a kind of animal magnetism.
Extra Storage
I have a coworker who stores his car keys in an unusual place.
But his keys have never been stolen.
But his keys have never been stolen.
Saturday, May 30, 2015
Advice When Pressed
Anticipating problems is something nurses can get really good at. If you walk into your patient's room and see this:
The first thing you should ask the nurse giving you report is "Are there back up bags of levophed and phenylepherine and vasopressin in the 'fridge?"
If you forget to do this, don't worry--you'll only forget it once.
Here is an exact time sequence one what happens when a pressor runs out.
First, the pump alarms, telling the nurse that the bag is empty. A yellow alarm starts.
The nurse will feel a sudden clench in her bowels. She sprints madly down the hall, ignoring other distractions.
At this point, time goes into slow motion. The nurse gets to the med room and tries to remember the code to the door. A red alarm is going off loudly.
There's a long line in front of the Medispense machine.
The nurse rips open the refrigerator door and stares at the patient's med bin in a futile hope
Seeing it's empty, the nurse shoves other staff out of the way
Grabs the phone, dials pharmacy
Abandoning that, shoves her way to the front of the line
Struggles to remember her most recent password
Pulls the drug and the bag of saline to mix it
Primes the tubing
And hangs the drip.
Don't let this happen to you. When it comes to pressors, here is my advice: Hang one, order one. Remember it.
The first thing you should ask the nurse giving you report is "Are there back up bags of levophed and phenylepherine and vasopressin in the 'fridge?"
If you forget to do this, don't worry--you'll only forget it once.
Here is an exact time sequence one what happens when a pressor runs out.
First, the pump alarms, telling the nurse that the bag is empty. A yellow alarm starts.
The nurse will feel a sudden clench in her bowels. She sprints madly down the hall, ignoring other distractions.
At this point, time goes into slow motion. The nurse gets to the med room and tries to remember the code to the door. A red alarm is going off loudly.
There's a long line in front of the Medispense machine.
The nurse rips open the refrigerator door and stares at the patient's med bin in a futile hope
Seeing it's empty, the nurse shoves other staff out of the way
Grabs the phone, dials pharmacy
Abandoning that, shoves her way to the front of the line
Struggles to remember her most recent password
Pulls the drug and the bag of saline to mix it
Primes the tubing
And hangs the drip.
Don't let this happen to you. When it comes to pressors, here is my advice: Hang one, order one. Remember it.
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
The Mysterious Man in White
Late at night at Lone Star Hospital, the nurses of the West Ward gather around the flickering light of the cardiac monitor under the glow of the setting clock.
Out of the mists of the peaceful dawn rides a white-coated figure.
He gallops into the gathered nurses, shooting off orders and scattering them into urgent errands of mercy.
His mission accomplished, he rides off to the distant elevator, waves his hat in the air and is gone.
The nurses, their calm shattered, huddle together. They ask, "Who was that mysterious man in white?"
Nurse's Note: Thanks to A. West!
Out of the mists of the peaceful dawn rides a white-coated figure.
He gallops into the gathered nurses, shooting off orders and scattering them into urgent errands of mercy.
His mission accomplished, he rides off to the distant elevator, waves his hat in the air and is gone.
The nurses, their calm shattered, huddle together. They ask, "Who was that mysterious man in white?"
Nurse's Note: Thanks to A. West!
Saturday, March 1, 2014
Eat Me
Humans have a conflicted relationship with their food sources. Every animal has to kill to live, anyone who has watched a wildlife television show knows that. But humans have an intense conflict with suffering and death. It makes raising animals for food difficult.
I often hear people who know nothing about animal husbandry talking about the best way to raise/kill domestic animals. It's bewildering to me.
It's not any better with plants. People with more money than sense worry about hormones (their own bodies are churning with hormones) pesticides and herbicides. Our planet has seven BILLION people on it now. Pesticides and herbicides are our friends! They reduce water use and labor costs. We could not possibly feed everybody without the use of chemicals.
And the word, "organic". Whatever businessman tagged more expensive foods with that term was really from the W.C. Fields school of business: "There's one born every minute". Everything that humans CAN eat is organic. Organic means, "carbon-based, once alive". The only thing we consume that was not once alive is salt.
We can cringe and apologize, but that is just how we are made. Our teeth, our vitamin needs, our guts, even our eyes show that we are predators. We aren't meant to live on grass or sunlight. We are upright with a mobile shoulder so we can throw spears. Our eyeballs are in the front of our head for the depth perception necessary for predators.
Some things sound worse than they are. Horse slaughter has been banned in the USA by well-meaning horse lovers. But this has resulted in terrible suffering for unwanted horses. Since they can't be humanely slaughtered for their flesh, they are often left to starve in pastures or turned out into parks, often with their brands carved out so their owners can't be identified. Also, buyers come to auctions, buy up large numbers of horses and haul them to Mexico or Canada to be slaughtered. The horses aren't given food or water on this long, last trip. Is this the more humane option?
I hear the argument that the horses, "Can be adopted out!" But there aren't enough homes for all the unwanted horses. Think about cows--when was the last time you saw a cow abandoned and starving? You don't, because the fact that their carcass is valuable protects them from some of the worst abuse.
And don't even get me started on bottled water...
I often hear people who know nothing about animal husbandry talking about the best way to raise/kill domestic animals. It's bewildering to me.
It's not any better with plants. People with more money than sense worry about hormones (their own bodies are churning with hormones) pesticides and herbicides. Our planet has seven BILLION people on it now. Pesticides and herbicides are our friends! They reduce water use and labor costs. We could not possibly feed everybody without the use of chemicals.
And the word, "organic". Whatever businessman tagged more expensive foods with that term was really from the W.C. Fields school of business: "There's one born every minute". Everything that humans CAN eat is organic. Organic means, "carbon-based, once alive". The only thing we consume that was not once alive is salt.
We can cringe and apologize, but that is just how we are made. Our teeth, our vitamin needs, our guts, even our eyes show that we are predators. We aren't meant to live on grass or sunlight. We are upright with a mobile shoulder so we can throw spears. Our eyeballs are in the front of our head for the depth perception necessary for predators.
Some things sound worse than they are. Horse slaughter has been banned in the USA by well-meaning horse lovers. But this has resulted in terrible suffering for unwanted horses. Since they can't be humanely slaughtered for their flesh, they are often left to starve in pastures or turned out into parks, often with their brands carved out so their owners can't be identified. Also, buyers come to auctions, buy up large numbers of horses and haul them to Mexico or Canada to be slaughtered. The horses aren't given food or water on this long, last trip. Is this the more humane option?
I hear the argument that the horses, "Can be adopted out!" But there aren't enough homes for all the unwanted horses. Think about cows--when was the last time you saw a cow abandoned and starving? You don't, because the fact that their carcass is valuable protects them from some of the worst abuse.
And don't even get me started on bottled water...
Monday, January 20, 2014
Everyday Heroism
My husband is a SUPERHERO!! Unlike the Hulk, Batman, Ironman, Green Lantern and Spiderman, my husband has several hero incarnations. He can be:
HUNNY BUNNY!!
Renaissance man!
And...
BIG FAT PIGGY!!
or...
POOKY BEAR!!
or...
HUNNY BUNNY!!
My husband's superheroes have a plethora of superpowers.
Such as:
Such as:
And...
And...
And...
And...
His superhero incarnations have as many talents as a Renaissance man!
And...
And I've always had a weakness for superheroes...
Monday, December 30, 2013
The Mrs. Clause
Last year around Christmas I posted "Santa Incarnate", discussing what might have happened to Santa if his life had taken a different course. I wanted to do the same thing for Mrs. Claus this year, but I discovered that not only does Mrs. Claus have no identity other than she's Santa's spouse, she doesn't even have a first name.
Nurse's Note: I have conflicted feelings about women taking their husband's names when they get married. It just feels like an antiquated tradition, like how slaves took their masters' last names. In some cultures, women take their husbands' first AND last names. The woman's name changes from, "Miss Mary Bernstein" to, "Mrs. Cecil Hughes". Both her names disappear entirely.
So, I'm giving the woman known only as, "Mrs. Claus" a name. I like the name, "Claudia". If she ends up marrying Santa and changing her name, she'll be, "Claudia Claus".
Now that we have that out of the way, here's some of Claudia's possible life paths, if she had not married Santa and been relegated to the kitchen baking tree-shaped cookies.
Nurse's Note: I have conflicted feelings about women taking their husband's names when they get married. It just feels like an antiquated tradition, like how slaves took their masters' last names. In some cultures, women take their husbands' first AND last names. The woman's name changes from, "Miss Mary Bernstein" to, "Mrs. Cecil Hughes". Both her names disappear entirely.
So, I'm giving the woman known only as, "Mrs. Claus" a name. I like the name, "Claudia". If she ends up marrying Santa and changing her name, she'll be, "Claudia Claus".
Now that we have that out of the way, here's some of Claudia's possible life paths, if she had not married Santa and been relegated to the kitchen baking tree-shaped cookies.
Ice Skater Claudia
Veterinarian Claudia
Botanist Claudia
Mechanic Claudia
Scientist Claudia
Teacher Claudia
Supermodel Claudia
Artist Claudia
Oh, the possibilities life holds...
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