English Lesson

I often hear my co-workers complain about patients who don't speak English.   But, I talk to nurses every day who don't speak English very well.

When studying a foreign language, you learn practical phrases like, "Where's the bathroom?" and, "Please give me two boiled eggs."  They never teach you how to say, "Did your great-aunt on your mother's side plant anemone along her back terrace?"

Here some common English phrases that need their usage clarified:

"Hi, how are you?"  (HY' hauw-r-u)  This is a commonly misunderstood phrase, commonly confused with, "I give a shit about your personal issues and I want to hear your woes."  That is an inaccurate translation.  "Hi, how are you?" means, "Hello".  The correct response in English is: "Fine!  How are you?"

"Well" (WE' ul')   If you have diarrhea of the glottis and you are rambling mindlessly on and the glassy-eyed person in front of you says, "Well"  it DOES NOT indicate agreement.   "Well," is actually a contraction.  The uncontracted version is: "When will he shut the hell up?"  

 "Huh" (HU')  "Huh" is Latin.  It means, "I heard you."  That's all it means.


Communication is a two-way street, though.  Lots of people don't know how to listen.  If a friend starts telling you about his wife cheating on him, his mother dying of cancer or his house being repossessed, do this:  sit still with your eyes fixed on him.  Nod occasionally.  Keep your mouth shut.  DO NOT offer any advice, criticism or comments.  Do not text, phone anyone or look around. 

See below.

Now, you're a great listener!