The nurse from Topeka is graceful and athletic, with glowing skin and very white teeth. She looks like a ballerina who took a wrong turn after rehearsing Swan Lake and ended up staffing in the ICU.
They do speak English in Topeka, but it's a dialect I am not very familiar with. The dialect--Topekanese--contains some strong phrases that seem incongruous coming out of this young woman's mouth.
When she hears about a challenging admission, she remarks cheerfully,"That sounds like a shit show!"
If a co-worker comes in unshaven, she says, "What's with the trash 'stache?"
If she hears something that sounds like mendacity, she says, "He pulled that straight out of his asshole."
If someone says something unkind, she says, "I'm really butt hurt about that."
I thought I might get me a hernia from laughing so hard. In an attempt to understand her culture better, I did some research on her native land.
Topeka is located in the middle area of the United States of America. It's somewhere between New York and San Francisco, Austin and Minneapolis. It is south of Chicago, but north of Miami. It is east of Phoenix but west of Atlanta. It is closer to Denver than it is to Portland.
The state dog of Topeka is the Topekingese.
The state bird is the Topeking duck.
The state flower is the Topekawinkle.
Now, we all know more about the great state of Topeka!
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