I think cigarettes must have been invented by a doctor or a nurse. They are the best job security imaginable for us. I love the tobacco industry! Every day I go to playgrounds and give out cigarettes to children.
I need job security! I need the hospital to be jam-packed with patients every day! I want there to be ambulances and wheelchairs lined up around the block! Cigarettes are a nurse's best friend!
I have an enormous mortgage.
Sometimes, I look around at my house, my land, my horses and all my possessions and it hits me that 90% of it has been paid for by smoking-related illnesses. That thought makes me feel just a bit better when I see a woman with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth yelling at her kids, or some twentysomething puffing away, desperate to appear non-desperate, or a truckload of colorfully tattooed teenagers lighting up.
We'll keep a bed for you.
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